


A Hundred Hated Birthdays

by Blue_Jae



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Needs a Hug, Fluff and Angst, Insecure Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Light Angst, The other sides are mentioned but aren't that important, first fanfic I've ever posted, its 4:50 am rip sleep, just vibing with the title, roman's birthday
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:13:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24548956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_Jae/pseuds/Blue_Jae
Summary: Classic Roman's birthday fic except Roman doesn't wanna celebrate his birthday. Ever.Logan goes out of his way to find out why and convince Roman otherwise
Relationships: platonic Logince
Comments: 2
Kudos: 45





	A Hundred Hated Birthdays

Logan had always been the most observant side, the side who always picked up on the smaller details that slipped past the others. He took notes, second glances, Logan worked to find answers to the strange quirks that often appeared in the other sides. However, there was a question that Logan had yet to find an adequate explanation for. The question being, why Roman had always been so against celebrating on his birthday.

Logically, all the sides knew that they didn't have real 'birthdays' however it was one of Patton and Roman's more sporadic yet enjoyable ideas that had morphed into a tradition over the years. Logan, Patton and Roman had their birthdays on the days that their respective characters appeared in Thomas' vines while Virgil, Janus and Remus' birthdays coincided with the release date of the videos in which they revealed their names. The dates were somewhat personal to the sides yet, despite being the one to co-create the idea, Roman couldn't be more disinterested in celebrating his own day.

It seemed bizarre to everyone at first when Roman downright refused to leave his room after their first attempt at a party for him and then the next year when he refused to acknowledge anything birthday related period. Roman usually loved the spotlight and having everyone's attention on him at all times but at an opportunity when attention and affection were practically mandatory he was determined to avoid it. 

After years of blowing off any birthday surprises that Patton, or surprisingly Remus, had tried to throw him, the other sides gave up on even trying to celebrate on Roman's birthday. A simple 'Happy Birthday' was where Roman humoured their attempts but was utterly unwilling to comply with any other typical birthday traditions that Remus would try to spring on him throughout the day.

Logan frowned, tiredly running a hand through his hair as he looked down at his laptop, an error-filled word document glaring right back at him through the screen. He had been working for longer than he had originally intended, a swift glance at the clock on the wall told him that it was steadily approaching three am. He sighed, leaning back in his desk chair to stretch, of course he'd managed to get carried away with his work again. This had been only one of many sleepless nights recently.

He was dedicated to getting these scripts correct for the videos Thomas made, despite not being the path Logan would have preferred him to go down career-wise. However, Thomas was taking a more creatively-driven route in his life which meant Roman was essential in Thomas having a successful life. And if that success was obtained from Logan having to edit scripts hours into the early morning then so be it.

The creak of a door opening down the hall broke Logan from his thoughts, he took one last look at the mess of a document before snapping his laptop lid shut and raising from his chair to investigate who-ever was sneaking around at three in the morning.

Logan gently cracked his door open as footsteps echoed in the empty hallway, he peeked through to see a side in a familiar red sash walk past his door towards the end of the hallway, stopping to look up at the entrance to the Imagination. It was an incredibly overly decorated door, crayon scribbles and paint were strewn across it and on the wall behind, the twins would simply add to it whenever they returned from a quest with a rare material that would immediately be used to make the end of the corridor more of an eyesore than it already was.

Logan adjusted his glasses before opening his door further to slip out of his room, approaching Roman quietly from behind. It wasn't unusual for Roman to be up this late - usually due to a random creative burst or an elaborate piece of inspiration - but he never went to the Imagination this late (early?) in the day. From what Logan had gathered from the two Creativities, the Imagination was unpredictable when Thomas was asleep, often taking creative power from the twins to manifest nightmarish monsters to plague Thomas' dreams or to wreak havoc on any of the inhabitants living in the Imagination. Logan shrugged off the unsettling thoughts of the power the two Creativities held and put a hand on Roman's shoulder.

"What are you doing up so late Roman?" He inquired. Roman startled, swivelling around to face Logan as the latter removed his hand from the other's shoulder. Logan watched as Roman floundered for an explanation, shifting his weight from foot to foot nervously before he eventually settled on a response.

"Could say the same for you Specs." Logan raised an eyebrow as Roman gave him a beaming, obviously fake, smile.

"For your information, I was correcting most of the mistakes you made when you wrote Thomas' latest script which is set to be revised by Joan and Quil tomorrow." Logan answered, Roman let out a small 'oh, right.' before turning back to the door. Logan once again ran a tired hand through his hair, ignoring how it sprung back up in a tangled mess as he addressed Roman once more.

"You have not yet told me why you are still awake or why you seem to be planning on venturing into the Imagination at this hour." Roman let out an exasperated sigh.

"It's really none of your business." He muttered obviously prompting Logan to leave him alone to do whatever stupid act he was planning. Logan rolled his eyes.

"You're correct that it is certainly none of my business however I still hold the right to be concerned by you entering the Imagination when you have previously conveyed that it is not a safe place to remain while Thomas is unconscious." Logan watched Roman carefully, coming to a plausible conclusion in his head. "Is this an attempt to evade any birthday celebrations this year. If so I can assure you that myself and the other sides, excluding Remus most likely, have not planned any-"

"This isn't about-!" Roman cut himself off, taking a steadying breath before looking over his shoulder to meet Logan's eyes. There was a small silence when Logan noticed the dark circles etched under Roman's usually bright eyes. He was tired Logan noted. "This isn't about my... birthday." Roman continued. "It's just something I need to do today, and it'll be better to do it now rather than later when Remus will most likely interrupt me."

Logan paused, he hadn't been expecting Roman to have a genuine reason he wanted to go, let alone a reason that he didn't want Remus to interfere with. Granted, Remus more often than not wasn't welcome in any of Roman's schemes but Logan had merely assumed that Roman was going to burn off some of his birthday hatred by slicing his way through fiendish enemies - not an uncommon thing for the two brothers to get involved in together.

Seeing as Logan hadn't spoken back to him, Roman opened the door leading to the Imagination, letting the cool breeze flow into the Mindpalace. Logan snapped back to his senses and looked between his door and the calm night scene beyond the entrance to the Imagination. Roman had already disappeared through the door and Logan hand on the doorknob was the only thing keeping it from closing. He weighed his options.

On one hand, he had a lot of paperwork and script editing to get done by tomorrow but on the other hand he had the prospect of learning more about how the Imagination functions during Thomas' resting hours and the opportunity to gather more information on Roman's odd behaviour throughout their previous discussion.

Logan shook his head, he had already made up his mind on what course of action to take. He closed the door behind him as he cursed his weak resistance to his own insatiable curiosity.

The Imagination was more beautiful at night than Logan could have dreamed it being. The door led to an open field with a forest lurking behind him, the sky was a beautiful purple-blue with stars scattered across it and the moon was full, casting a luminous glow on everything beneath it. Around him, Logan noticed that several plants almost appeared to be glowing under the moonlight even as they hid under the shade of the surrounding trees. As he looked around in awe he spotted a dark figure walking down a winding path towards the woods behind him.

Roman, Logan reminded himself. He was here for Roman, not to gawk at the unrivalled beauty of this world that he had created. He ignored the door fazing out of existence behind him as he jogged to catch up with Roman who looked surprised to see him again.

"What are you doing here?" He grumbled, picking up speed as they walked through the dimly lit forest. Logan walked faster to keep up with him, trying to resist stopping to look at their surroundings.

"You said you had a task to complete while you were in here, I am here to help you complete this task." Roman raised an eyebrow in disbelief, holding eye contact until Logan continued. "And I was hoping to get some answers to some questions I have regarding the Imagination while you work to finish what I assume is a quest of some sort." He admitted, Roman nodded as he sharply turned on the path to walk in another direction. 

It was only now that Logan realised that the flowing breeze had stilled and the trees had grown dark and twisted, looming over them with their sharp twigs reaching for them as they walked. The ground had been covered by a layer of mist so thick that the crunching of leaves underneath their feet was the only sign that they were still walking on the ground. It took a moment for Logan to realise that Roman had led them into Remus' territory.

"I'm afraid this quest may not be as exciting as my tales may have you to believe," Roman spoke, taking a series of bending turns on the path before coming to a cliff leading to a separate elevated piece of land with ledges that jutted out from the cliff face. The area was raised far above the trees surrounding it with thorny vines creeping up the sides. Roman easily lifted himself up onto the first ledge and held a hand out to help Logan up.

"Most of your 'tales' as you put it sound ludicrous and incredibly dangerous, I do not understand what could be so exciting about being in a seriously perilous situation." Logan took Roman's hand, allowing him to be pulled onto that ledge, then the next, then the next.

"It's the story you get out of the experience!" Roman protested. "There's no point of going on an adventure and coming back with no story to tell. The more 'perilous'the adventure is, the better the story that you have afterwards."

"Falsehood." Logan countered as he was heaved up onto the last ledge of the climb, the top was close enough to simply lift himself up onto. "If all stories were required to feature climatic near-death action scenarios just to be interesting then far less people would be published authors."

Logan waited for Roman to snap back with an insult or one of his usual quips or nicknames but no such thing happened. Logan looked out over the expanse of dark decaying woods, seeming all the more lifeless in the stiff silence of the night. On the horizon he could see the outline of Remus' tower, it's tall spire piercing into the sky which despite what lay beneath it, remained as wondrous as it had on Roman's side of the Imagination. He turned around to compare the view to that of Roman's side of the forest but froze as he saw Roman kneeling with his head in his hands before a stone statue.

Logan moved towards the creative side and placed a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to be reassuring but Roman brushed him off. Instead Logan sat down next to him, looking around first at the glowing mushrooms and thorns surrounding both Roman and the statue. Then Logan directed his gaze towards the stone statue only to see someone with an uncanny resemblance to Thomas. The figure two sashes crossed over one another resting on his chest and frilly shoulder-pads that reminded Logan of Remus' absurd addition to his own outfit. The Thomas look-alike also appeared to have a crown resting on his head and a face that seemed almost younger than what Thomas was now. Logan frowned, this was clearly a previous side that had some connection to the twins but surely this couldn't be who he thought it was. He looked down at the stone pedestal that the statue stood on and engraved into the rock was 'King Creativity'.

"This was who Remus and I were before we split." Roman said, lifting his head from his hands to reveal tears running down his cheeks. Logan looked at the other in confusion, Roman was always so quick to try and leave Remus behind so why was he willingly looking at the statue of the person that the two of them used to be together?

"I don't quite understand." Logan confessed, looking towards Roman who was staring quietly up at the statue.

"He was the combination of both of us, he was Thomas' all-encompassing Creativity." Roman responded tiredly. Logan shook his head.

"You misunderstood me. I'm aware of who he is however I'm not sure why you would want to come here." Roman let out a sigh and lay back on the ground, never removing his eyes from the statue's face.

"It's just... I never knew him, y'know?" 

"I never had the opportunity to meet him either." Logan contributed but fell silent as Roman shot him a look.

"It's like... I was him! But I don't know how he acted or how he spoke. I have vague memories of the split but nothing from before." Roman frowned as tears continued to fall down his face. "I keep telling myself that I need to be as good as him but I don't even know how good he was. I'll never be able to know because all I have left of who I was before was this!" Roman gestured to the statue with frustration before flopping back onto the ground. Logan opened his mouth to speak but Roman continued.

"How stupid is this?" He let out a small pitiful laugh. "I'm mourning someone I never met who has been gone for years? What..." Roman held a hand to his mouth to try and stop the incoming sobs.

"What is wrong with me?" He cried. Logan frowned, awkwardly shuffling over to be closer to Roman.

"I don't believe there is anything wrong with you." Logan chose his next words carefully as he watched Roman peek through his fingers at him. "You've always held yourself to ridiculously high standards Roman, especially with your work. But comparing yourself to someone who doesn't exist anymore is only going to create more doubts and problems in the future."

Roman frowned. "But he could have been better than me or Remus and Thomas could have ended up with a full creativity instead of two broken halves."

"You really believe that this guy who has been gone for years could measure up to you or Remus when it comes to Creativity?" Logan questioned. Roman let out another bark of a laugh.

"Oh of course he could! He was the full thing! He could probably do all my work one hundred times better and quicker than I could with less mistakes and less fuss than I make about them." Logan sighed, placing both his hands on Roman's shoulders, forcing the other to look at him.

"Listen Roman. You are extremely dedicated and hardworking and you are there for Thomas when he needs you. Whether he wants to or not, he." Logan gestured back to the statue, "can't be there for Thomas anymore. Thomas needs you to be his creativity, and it doesn't matter that you aren't fused with Remus anymore. You're perfect on your own." Roman looked up at Logan with watery eyes and smiled genuinely for the first time all morning, wrapping his arms around Logan who awkwardly did the same. He really wasn't used to physical affection as much as the other sides were but for once, he thought to himself, he could make an exception.

"Do you know why I hate my birthday so much?" Roman asked quietly, his voice muffled by his face being buried in Logan's shoulder, Roman didn't give Logan a chance to answer as he pulled back from the hug to look at him face to face. He was still crying, Logan noticed but he seemed less upset than before.

"No I do not." Logan replied, watching with a frown as Roman's eyes flickered back up to the statue of Creativity then back to Logan.

"It was his birthday too, I didn't think I was worthy of having the same day as him." Logan bit his lip.

"Do you still feel this way about it?" Roman thought for a moment.

"I'm... not sure how I feel about it. Usually I just come here and wallow in my own sadness for a few hours but now... maybe it isn't true." Logan felt his lips tug up into smile as Roman contemplated.

"I'm sure if the others thought you were alright with the idea of your birthday then they wouldn't be upset about getting things ready last minute." Roman laughed a little but shook his head.

"Maybe so but I don't wanna bother them by coming out of the blue and saying I'm suddenly alright with it, because I'm still not and... I might not be alright with it for a while still."

"And that's fine, no one is going to push you to go through with your birthday before you're ready. We just want you to be happy." Roman gave Logan another smile before standing up on shaky legs and holding out a hand for Logan. They stayed hand-in-hand as they sunk out of the imagination and up into the quiet common room. Logan peered over at the clock and cringed when he realised it was almost eight am. Roman followed his gaze and tilted his head confused, surely the others would be up by now since Thomas actually needed to do work today.

Yet the common room was so quiet.

At least it was until a bang sounded around the room making Roman shriek and jump into Logan's unprepared arms. They fell to the floor in a confused heap as confetti landed on them. Roman opened his eyes to see Remus staring down at him with a terrifying grin on his face. He sat up and looked around to see Janus, Virgil and Patton looking over from the kitchen with amused looks on their faces. Roman quickly shifted off of Logan as the latter let out a pained groan from beneath him. 

Roman looked around, the common room was adorned with streamers and a couple 'Happy Birthday!' banners and for once he wasn't too upset about it. 

"Give me some warning next time before you scream like a woman and jump into my arms." Logan grumbled. Roman stared at him for a second before bursting into laughter partly due to Logan's general dishevelled look with his hair spiking up in every direction. It didn't take long for Logan and the other sides to join in before the laughter died down and they all looked back at Roman.

Roman looked back at them all nervously, had he done something wrong, were they mad at him for being in the imagination all night? Luckily it turned out to be neither as Patton counted down from three a chorus of "Happy Birthday!" filled the room. And if being showered with gifts and love and affection were all typical parts of a birthday then maybe Roman could get used to having one.

**Author's Note:**

> It's 4:50 in the morning but I wanted to get this out when it was still Roman's birthday somewhere in the world.
> 
> This is also the first fic I've ever published so criticism is welcome :)


End file.
